Untitled #1

Lost in time...

HE > i

Greater is the One living inside of me THAN he who is living in the world! 

There'll be days I lose the battle

Grace says that it doesn't matter

'Cos the cross already won the war!

Amen! Amen!

My God is greater!

Kairos Asia Day 5 (Journal)

May 31, 2015

Today is the day. The day which I think everyone of us never wanted to come. It’s the last day of Kairos. Tears always win (but not for me). Some Indian delegates needed to go early. We said our goodbyes. Before I went down for the mass, I arranged my things and prepared it for departure. The mass started and was presided by a former CYAer. Words that I can’t forget that time were: “do not be afraid, the Lord said: I will be with you ‘til the end of time”, “never give up”, “always get back to God”, “protect your mission from other priorities that compete”, and “keep wasting for the Lord”. These words served as reminders for me of how God is ever faithful to me despite my unfaithfulness, that He is always there ready to welcome me with open arms, that it’s okay to fail as long as I decide to return to Him and offer my brokenness. 

I wasn’t ready for departure yet. I wanted to stay longer but everything really ends. But this time it is not the end, it is only the beginning, the beginning of living the life God wanted us to live, of letting our lights shine to others who needs it. We said our super final goodbyes and we took pictures, exchanged numbers and fb username. We wanna make sure we’re still connected ;) 

*****Set a fire down to my soul that I can’t contain, that I can’t control because I want more of You, God! I want more of You, God!

Arise! Shine! For the glory of God has risen on you!

Kairos Asia Day 4 (Journal)

May 30, 2015

Rise and shine! I mistakenly saw the time. I thought it was already 6:40am only then after I took a bath realized that it was still 10 minutes past 6 :’< I wanted to go back to sleep but can’t. I went out and saw ate Krish. It was a good thing though that I woke up early because I was able to have my prayertime with ate Krish at the amphitheater. We had breakfast and afterwards the plenary talk #4. I didn’t get enough sleep for the past few days and I was really sleepy during the sharing and talk. The talk was actually interesting and I tried hard to keep myself awake. What really struck me most during Jean Barbara’s talk was that we need to give our all on our mission. Our heart, mind, body and soul. We need to excellently contribute to humanity. We need to stop mediocrity and mediocrity lies anything under our 100%. If we didn’t give that remaining 1% of ours, it’s like a fly in our soup. We don’t want that. It’s not the best anymore. I was really struck by this because I think there were really times that I’m just too passive with my service or that I don’t really give my all, it’s just for the sake of doing. It was really this talk that motivated me to give my all in service especially that I only have 1 year left in CYA because I will be graduating this school year. It’s never too late. I was also assured by God that I am never alone. I have my 700++ brothers and sisters who will support and encourage me plus I have Him. I just have to take courage. It was repeatedly stated on the sessions: take courage! I had my lunch together with CYA Davao and had a quick sharing of what happened during the day. We prepared for our next track afterwards. DSL: Desire, Sex and Love. The theme is somehow catchy. What happened during the talk were purely testimonies and advices from 3 couples with successful marriages. The main point was to really wait. And love is not actually the “you complete me” thing. It’s actually “you complement me”. We should control our emotions and of course do first the SOL or State of Life Discernment. We need to listen to God because even marriages should also bring glory to Him. I also thought that waiting is really hard but hearing the couples being happy and stable I could say that it’s really worth the wait. I recalled what kuya Biboy said that love should not be in a rush. Rushing love is like farting in a hurry and only poop will come out. Haha.  I also realized that I’m still too young to enter in a relationship. I am even not yet stable financially, emotionally and mentally for that. Some would say just experiment, life is short. But nah, I think it’s more fun being single and I would rather build and establish my relationship first with the Lord. SOL first! Haha. We ended by 4pm then got ready for the Lord’s Day. When we were done, we went to the amphitheater for our final prayer meeting. We were seated by tribe and by discussion groups. We weren’t able to find one of our DG, Sam. So it was only me, Rex (CYA Valencia) and Laryssa (India). We had our time of worship and prayer. Then John Keating gave the final talk. Arise! Shine! For your light has come. It was really overwhelming. Again, it was reiterated: Take Courage! Do not be afraid. Let your light shine so others can see. When we were told to light our flashlights, I was really amazed by how great God is to each and every one of us, for touching our lives, for renewing us, for being ever present in us. These people love the Lord so much and I myself was also encouraged to love Him more everyday. It was really a different night. It was happy. Joyful. Promising. Overwhelming. Every day I spent there in Tagaytay was really becoming better and better. The present days get the better of yesterday’s best. We had a praise concert afterwards and I was really singing and dancing. I can’t contain my happiness. Another best thing that happened during that night was the FIREWORKS. I was really surprised and happy because I was at the right place to see its beauty. I was screaming. In my 18 years of existence, it was my first time to see fireworks! Oh, God gave me a lot of first times already! It did not end there because there was bonfire. Since it would be the last night of Kairos, we had longer fellowship. I didn’t even wanna go to sleep but mass would be early the next morning. I went to bed at around 1:30am.  God is really beyond amazing! 

Kairos Asia Day 3 (Journal)

May 29, 2015

It’s the third day yet I feel like I haven’t stayed that long yet. I didn’t have enough sleep also. We had our breakfast at 7am then proceeded to the 3rd plenary talk. It was given by Mr. Ken Noecker. “You are the light of the world”. “Wait. Me??”  I haven’t really envisioned much of myself doing noble things. I mean, I’m just an ordinary girl living a simple life. When Mr. Ken shared that Emma Watson is fighting for women’s right, (which I somewhat knew already because of her tweets and posts on twitter and fb) I was amazed of how noble she is knowing that she’s still young. Unlike any other actresses her age, Emma did something unusual, something different yet noble. “If not me, who? If not now, when?” She’s right. Take courage and “let no one despise your youth. Let no one despise your weakness.” These messages always ring on my mind and I realized that I’m never too young to serve the Lord. When the plenary ended, we went to our DGs (and I found them finally! And my DGL was an Indian, Laryssa), had our lunch and then got ready for the WAR GAMES >:D While I was having my lunch, I was already nervous because it would be my first time and I’m not really that sporty and I might get injured or I might be the reason for the defeat of our team. HAHA. The war game was really intense!! I ran as fast as I could and killed as many as I can. I witnessed some brothers rolling and I’ve seen that even if the person is coming from a different tribe, when he falls, the other helps him stand. I liked our strategies and also how teamwork was really present on our tribe. We were all sweaty. The game ended. We took pictures. It was really fun and memorable. After that, (fast forward) we were getting ready for our dance for E-Night. We’ve been practicing this dance for almost a month. Finally we were able to perform the dance. We’ve seen the performances of the brothers and sisters also and what I liked most was the belly dancing of one Indian sister. Later part of the night was fellowship. This day was grand!

**photo credits to CYA Davao

Kairos Asia Day 2 (Journal)

May 28, 2015

It was a new day and I was really looking forward for the activities. We had our breakfast and it was also a good time to mingle with others. I even had a chance to dine with Mr. Jake Yap and Mr. John Rich. Afterwards, we went to the session hall. A video was shown to us on what happened last night. Then, we had our plenary talk #1. The speaker was Mr. Raoul Roncal. What struck me during his talk was when he said that “the light shines on people not by accident, but by choice”. True enough, choosing to follow the Lord was a decision and I came to remember the time when I chose to join CYA. I was in the light. God used me and enabled me to be a light to others as well through my service at school and in the chapter. Every day is a decision to seek for the light. And I realized that I should never get tired of looking for the light. It was also a reminder that I should be aware of the darkness. But I should be confident that together with the Lord, I can overcome it. We had an open sharing with our DG and again I was transferred to another group. We had lunch afterwards. After that, we went to our tracks. Mine was Power Punch: Effective Public Speaking. It’s ironic because I can’t even stand in front of a crowd. I thought it would help me overcome this stage-fright of mine. During the track, we were taught how to make a good visual presentation and of how essential the speaker (medium) is in delivering a message. And as evangelizers, we should be effective speakers to be successful on passing the message to the audience. We had a fun workshop. We were told to sell a product given to us in a minute, impromptu. Gosh, I was really nervooous. Our product was thumbtacks and it was really funny. I had a good feedback though. That’s what I call “fake it ‘til you make it” (smile and pretend not to be nervous. HAHA) We had our house games after that. It was fun and tiring at the same time. It was a good chance also to get to know my team mates. When the house games were finished, we took pictures of us in the place. Solo shots. Group shots. Jump shots. Selfieees. The view and the breeze were really relaxing. After that, we cleaned our filthy and sweaty selves then had our dinner.  The food was great! Then, we went to the amphitheater and had our next plenary. What I really love during plenary was the praise and worship. It was, I think, my first time to really feel so free and comfortable to lift my hands and clap and dance and sing aloud and really worship God. It was Mr. Bobby Quitain who gave the talk. I love his humor. He delivered the talk very well. What struck me in his talk was when he said we need to be the game changer. We are called to share the light, and the light is Christ himself. As Christians, we preach Christ to those who don’t know Him yet or to others who are likewise in darkness. We may have many doubts about ourselves and if what we are doing is worth it, but we need not be afraid and worry because God will enable us if we submit to His plans. My night was again filled with joy. After that, we had our fellowship. Again, time to meet others and break the holy huddle. 

**photo credis to CYA Davao

 https://www.facebook.com/cyadavao

Kairos Asia Day 1 (Journal)

May 27, 2015

Our flight going to Manila was at 10am. But we went to the airport as early as 7am to arrange some of the documents of the delegates below 18. Too excited to be early! :D It was my first time to ride a plane and I can’t stop thinking the possibilities of air crashing or air bombing. Haha! I was obviously overthinking. We had a safe trip from Davao to Manila to Tagaytay. And from Manila, we were accommodated by our very hospitable and welcoming brothers and sisters to the venue. Before we arrived at Manila, I had this awareness that it would be very very hot and very traffic. And I was right, though it wasn’t still really that traffic during that time. While travelling to CCT (Center for Community Transformation), I got a glimpse of the Mt. Taal and looked forward of getting a picture with the view. When we arrived, I was overwhelmed by the place and the crowd. There were really many of us and the place is really amazing. Our IDs and kit were given. Our room assignments were told to us. We were 7 in the room: 2 YAs from Manila, 2 from Malaysia, 2 from Singapore and 1 from Davao, me. Unsurprisingly, I really needed to speak in straight English and Filipino. ‘Twas really a struggle!! LOL. We were getting ready for the opening night or the BIG HELLO. We, the Davao delegates were dressed in our native costumes and had a 20-(or more) second dance on stage. After the opening night, we were grouped into our different tribes. Mine was tribe Kidlat, house Lawin. It was also that time that we identified our discussion groups. I haven’t found my DG so I temporarily joined the group of Icia, a UD from Manila. We introduced ourselves and got to know each other more. After that, I mingled with other delegates from outside the Philippines. I was reminded to break the holy huddle. It’s not easy, actually but I have to do it  Later on, I realized I needed to rest and so I went in my room and slept. My first day was really awesome! 

**photo credits to CYA Davao
https://www.facebook.com/cyadavao

HOME in the Community

*this piece was the whole content of my sharing during the 23rd CYA Anniversary (May 9, 2015) at Fiesta Buffet, Cabaguio. As requested by ate Tianne and ate Harly, I'll be posting this :) It was a privilege to share in front of the CYA brothers and sisters, with the alumni, kuya Bogart and wife and other guests.

(non-verbatim)

"Good evening brothers and sisters! My name is Regina, 18 years old, an incoming 4th year Human Resource Management student. I've been in CYA for three years now and I was invited by ate Harly. Tonight I will be sharing how I found home in CYA. Let me share to you brothers and sisters that before I entered CYA, I used to be a very quiet and very shy person. I always tend to stay on my comfort zone- to stay away from the crowd and avoid mingling. Being such, I  realized that I limited myself from the possible opportunity of discovering myself and meeting and knowing people. I was also less vocal and expressive of how I felt and thought back then, brothers and sisters. 

One time, my ate invited me on their prayer meeting. She was an active CYAer that time up until now that she's working. Every invitation from her was always a rejection from me. It's clearly out of my comfort zone! And I proudly thought at the back of my mind that "I don't really need to join such. I can practice my faith by myself". But ate's consistent persuasion got me in to joining CYA. 

The more I involve myself in every CYA activities, the more I appreciated and adapted the CYA culture, counter-culture. CYA has made me feel very welcome, secured, and comfortable. CYA is my home away from home. We are accountable of each other. One's concern is the concern of all. One's happiness is the happiness of all. I have also appreciated how the ate's and kuya's served and have taken care of us, the younger. And I somehow felt the responsibility of doing the same to my younger brothers and sisters not only in the community but most especially in our home. 

The Lord has helped me get out of  my shell thru the brothers and sisters. My character and attitude slowly developed thru their loving and gentle correction and reminder. Aside from that, I gained a lot of friends from different levels and professions. I've discovered some of my talents which I could use to honor the Lord. 

I will say brothers and sisters that those 3 years of mine in CYA was so far the most meaningful and fruitful years of my life. This whole involvement of mine in the CYA was also a correction from God that I CANNOT LIVE MY FAITH IN ISOLATION, that FAITH is NOT an ISOLATED ACT. No one can be a believer alone just as no one can live alone. That is why brothers and sisters, I will be forever grateful that God has found me and has placed me to where I belong. Thank you. To God be the glory!"

R E T R O s p e c t

"ASEP 2014"

Batch 42 & 43

Brgy, Ngan, Compostela Valley

Yes. ASEP 2015 just ended and reading the FB posts of the current batch about their experience made me reminisce mine :)

It was a happy and a life-affirming one :) 

I dared to step out of my comfort zone.

Yes. I won't forget that :')

Post No. 16

“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make.”(Brené Brown, PhD, Daring Greatly)

Happy Easter :)

Jesus has claimed victory through his resurrection! Christ is risen! Alleluia! Alleluia! 

Happy Easter! :)

(c) http://www.freeallpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Easter-Sunday-Pics-4.jpg

#TLW ♡♡♡♥♥♥

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=FLnrkSEyYYaBoFXgdbDfNYGA&v=5U_nC7GDC28

"the great power of letting go....when you do that, it allows you to reset and to rearrange your life towards a more purposeful future, and in this sense, the purpose that God has for us....I had to make an effort to assign in my thoughts Vanessa to the background rather than to the forefront of my attentions in life....I felt it was important because at that stage in my life, i had to put God first, build my career, discern my state of life, and develop healthy relationships with others....I had to learn to trust that during the time, i had to be convinced that God was sufficient for her, and that she was perfect without me....it's very important to know first your state of life** before you get into a relationship so that everything is in order....The important thing is that that should be done no sooner, maturity first, growth in the Lord first, trusting in the Lord first, putting Him first in your life, and then i believe that everything would fall into place." 

"the right love too soon will actually turn out to be the wrong love, and that's why God's timing is always perfect...."

Don't hurry, just allow the Lord to work in your life. Allow the Lord to develop you, to grow you, and put Him first and He will take care of your future. And He will have the best prepared for you. ♥

(c) 0artreaction0.blogspot.com

As I Began to Reflect

AS I BEGAN TO LOVE MYSELF

by: Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.

Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY“.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.

Today I call it “RESPECT“.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it “Maturity“.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm.

Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE“.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.

Today I call it “SIMPLICITY“.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.

Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF“.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.

Today I discovered that is “MODESTY“.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.

Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT“.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.

Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART“.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.

Today I know THAT IS “LIFE“!

---

It amazed me how Chaplin was able define his Self. I came to hear this "poem" in the site youtube when I was searching for a motivational slash inspirational video to uplift my self confidence and self esteem. The first sentence already caught my ears and I can relate to what it was saying. Up until the last sentence I said to myself that it was perfect and thought that the one who made it really achieved knowing and loving himself, and thought he is at peace. "As I began to love myself"...this first phrase immediately struck me. Have I really loved myself all this time? Do I really love who I am including my flaws? Have I respected myself? Have I accepted that I am only limited?  Have I lived my life to the fullest? How should I give love to others if I have not loved myself first? I know I cannot give what I do not have. But my younger life is currently on the process of "trial and error" and I have to respect that...I am on the stage of being easily fallen to insecurities, to fear of trying, to envy...And I know this is not what God wants. We are made in God's love. Therefore, we are LOVE. We just need to put that in our minds so that our actions may be guided by it. Someday, when the right time comes, I will be wiser and I will fully understand and love myself, with God's help and grace

. 

photo credits to: http://jennifersikora.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Joyce-Meyer.jpg

I. AM. So. Guilty. Of. This.

*Disclaimer. I would just want to share this article. It made me realize many things on how I have lived my life. I am glad to have read this because it helped me evaluate myself and I hope to change for the better and start a new this year. So help me, God!

Got this from this site: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201411/5-signs-you-re-living-too-small

5 Signs You’re Living Too Small

The case for putting yourself out there.

Published on November 4, 2014 by David Sack, M.D. in Where Science Meets the Steps

How do you live your life? Do you proactively make the most of your talents and seek out fulfilling experiences and relationships? Or is your focus on avoiding pain, confrontation and embarrassment—in other words, making yourself as small a target as possible so the world won’t shoot you down?
Putting yourself out there can be unsettling, but it feels worse to wonder what might have been.
Are you giving yourself the chance to be your best and to experience all that you can? Or are you living a miniature life? Here are five signs you’re living too small for your inherent bigness:
1. You wait to be asked …
… to speak in the meeting, to go to the movies, to have a turn with the karaoke mic, to join the conversation at a party, to share your opinion. Putting yourself forward is just not in your DNA. What if you speak up and say something stupid? What if you ask someone to the movies and they say no? Better to sit back and wait until someone begs you to join in. That way, if things go wrong, you can say, “Hey, it wasn’t my idea.”

The reality: If you wait to be asked, the invitation may never come. Yes, that might mean you sometimes avoid embarrassment, but it also means you are going to miss chances to grow, learn, and just have fun.
2. You’ll do anything to avoid confrontation.
No matter how big or legitimate your complaint, you can’t bring yourself to actually confront a person with your grievance. What if they get mad? What if they come up with some complaints about you in return? Instead, you live with the problem, and complain about your boss to your spouse, about your spouse to your friend, and about your friend to your sister, etc.
The reality: It can be hard to stand up for yourself, but doing so in a diplomatic way is more respectful to everyone involved than venting behind someone's back. It’s also your best hope for bringing about real change. Give the person a chance to make things better or explain. You will both be better off for it.
3. You make room for the little stuff in your life before the big.
Life seems full of minutia—errands, chores, email, to-do lists. But despite all the busyness, it doesn’t seem to add up to much at the end of the day. You often feel as though you’re missing the big picture.
The reality: The oft-told story of the rocks in the jar applies here: If you put the little stuff in the jar first—the pebbles and the sand—you won’t have room for the rocks. But add the rocks first—the important things, such as family, health, faith and relationships—and the pebbles and the sand can be worked into the empty spaces. The point is not that there’s a way to squeeze everything into your life, but you should prioritize the things that really matter.

Jochen Schoenfeld/Shutterstock

4. Criticism lays you low rather than helping you grow.
When discouraging words come your way, you see it as confirmation of what you suspected all along—I’m a loser. And it doesn’t even need to be words. A single disgusted look can make you wither. That’s why you wear a heavy coat of armor whenever you deal with people, whether at home, at work, or out in the world. You are eternally, exhaustingly, braced for attack.
The reality: People usually mean a lot less by their criticism than we hear. Pay attention to your reaction the next time you are at the receiving end of a negative comment. Does your pulse race, does your face go red, or are you hearing the outraged or anguished commentary in your head rather than really listening to what the person is saying? Try to stop yourself and listen as though you were taking notes for another person. Is the criticism valid? Is there something to learn from it? If so, great! You’ve had a positive experience, albeit a painful one. If not, say, “I see your point but I disagree, and here’s why.” Then move on.
5. You plan more than you produce.
You have ideas, maybe lots of them. You spend hours, weeks, months, even years thinking about them, planning them, and examining the pros and cons from all angles. But when push comes to shove, you find a million reasons not to do them. They probably won’t work anyway, you tell yourself. And what if you put your heart and soul into one of these projects and then it’s met with ridicule or, even worse, silence? Better to wait until everything is perfect.
The reality: Yes, it would hurt if your brainchild were met with indifference or derision, but what’s the alternative? Never taking a chance? Never seeing what you can really do? Stripping away the layers of creativity until all that’s left is an inoffensive shell? Perfection is an illusion, of course, and virtually every success story is preceded by a string of failures, sometimes spectacular. Be willing to have your own. Even if nothing turns out as you planned, you’ll learn plenty about what to do next time. At the very least, you’ll be able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “I gave it my best shot.”

David Sack, M.D., is a triple board-certified psychiatrist andaddiction specialist who serves as CEO of Elements Behavioral Health, a network of programs that includes Promises Austin luxury rehab in Texas, Journey Healing Centers, The Ranch treatment center in Tennessee, and Right Step.